The second thing that has helped me stay sober during the holidays is the fact that my one year AA celebration is going to be held on January 8th.
When we were planning the date for my party, I was quite disappointed that it was to be so far from my "real" sober date of December 27th. The reasons were as follows. I belong to the Friday Night Beginner's Group. December 25th and January 1st were the days our meetings fall on, and unfortunately, the church needs the hall for their own events. This meant that my celebration had to be pushed ahead to January 8th...which is this Friday.
A blessing in disguise?
I think so.
You see, the thing is ....my kids are really really looking forward to my one year celebration. They have attended a couple of AA events and have met many of my new friends, also known as my new family members. They remind me often that my one year party is coming up. Now, if I would have had my party sooner, I may have dranken during the holidays, if that's even a word. My mind was a little fucked up here and there. Being around drinkers and craving something to numb the pain found me weak several times. I wanted to fit in. I wanted to drink. Part of me felt that hitting my one year sober date of Dec 27th, had given me enough strength to think that I wasn't an alcoholic anymore. My friend even tried to convince me that I should be good now, since I made it past a year and she told me that I should be able to control it. I believed her. And, as much as my mind wandered into thinking that I had this whole addiction thing down pat, I still didn't pick up a drink.
Now, imagine, if I'd have taken even a little sip of wine during my struggles over the last couple of weeks! There's no way in hell I could have lived with myself if I'd have slipped, not tell anyone and attended my one year celebration. And, even though I thought about doing it quite often, I didn't.
I stayed sober. One year and one week....almost 2. My kids eyes will shine when they see me get that medallion I worked so hard for. I can't wait to see that!
It was worth fighting for.
Contratulations you!!! What a feeling it must be... ONE YEAR!!! I can't wait to experience that, and I will. I know that for sure today, deep down in my heart and soul. Thanks to you wonderful sober blogger for showing me the light. Love, Diane
ReplyDelete*oups Congratulations rather :-)
ReplyDeleteCongratulations. One year is an achievement to be proud of.
ReplyDeleteKeep building on it.
I have been away from the computer for the holidays and when I started reading your posts I was very, very worried. Trauma from childhood is a huge trigger for all of us and I just said a quiet prayer before moving on to your next post.
ReplyDeleteAnd now I'm sitting here at work with tears in my eyes because you did it. You persevered and will now celebrate with your kids on of the most significant achievments in your life.
Rock on my friend...rock on.
Sherry
Getting to celebrate your sober year and more is an awesome thing.
ReplyDeleteJust think of all you have learned.
My hubs came to my meeting and it was wonderful. He worked hard, too!
Being sober gives us freedom.
xo
Wendy