I'm headed out to mom and dad's tonight. I expressed my concerns about the situation I'll be in over the next few days at my meeting last night.
I will be surrounded by alcohol.
And, in my moment of weakness, as I chaired the meeting that I wasn't planning on attending, a member reminded me of this very important fact.
I am a fighter!
These were his words:
"Jen. In the short time I've known you and seen you in this program, there's one thing I notice about you. You're a fighter. You put on those boxing gloves and you fight. Fight off that little voice in your head or punch off the little guy on your shoulders. Just don't stop fighting. I'd admire you for being a fighter. It makes me wanna fight too"
A message from up above? I think so. Nothing happens by mistake.
So, I will fight this week. I will remember why I gave up alcohol in the first place. It is shit and it will make my life shitty. I know that. I just have to remember that, in my times of weakness.
It's been my mom's dream to have all the family together at Christmas in her beautiful home on the lake. I want to make her dreams come true. I may not stay long. Hell, I may even come back home to my safe place tomorrow (4 hour drive), but I will not drink. I want mom to be happy. I love mom. She needs her family. I will be a strong, loving, sober, fun, happy, daughter. And when dad becomes a drunken ass, I will go to bed and read and pray.
Good luck at your parents' place. Being ready to leave if the booze is getting to you is a great idea. You are a fighter, and you're an inspiration as well. Wishing you a happy Christmas! xo
ReplyDeleteHi Sweetie!
ReplyDeleteYes, leave if you need to!
Or your idea of going to bed early, reading, praying, even playing computer games on your phone if you can, are great ways to escape.
You are doing this!!
xo
Wendy
It is going to be rough. But you are the one who can do it. You've been doing it for so long now. Leaving sound like a great way to avoid trouble. Keep us posted.
ReplyDelete