...on Surrendering

Prayer by Marianne Williamson

Dear God,
I cannot stop drinking.
I have tried.
I have tried so hard.
And still, Lord, I go back and do it, thought I hate myself for doing it.
I cannot stop, 
I cannot stop.
You, dear Lord, are my refuge and security and strength when I cannot go on.
Please lift me up and share Your strength with me.
Please lift from me this burden, the burden of this addiction, the pain of this self-hatred, the power of this demon within me.
I do not have the power on my own to fight this beast.
But You, dear Lord, You do.
You do.
I praise Your strength and power and love.
Please give it to me.
Please take away my desire to drink.
Please take it away, 
Please take it away.
I surrender all,
I lay myself in Your arms.
Please give me a miracle.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Amen.


Day 79
I am blessed!
Spending time in a hotel with my kids, watching people with their beer, and I'm feeling so alive and well.
Read upon some blogs this morning.  Sent this to a friend.  May help more.
God bless you who are still suffering.
Find your peace.

Oh...how I wish you'd find what you're looking for..... freedom from the booze.....it's there girl.....just in your reach.
I don't know how I made it to Day 79  but I can tell you that I get up everyday and thank God for it.  I truly believe that He took the burden of wanting to drink away from me.  When I get a small craving, I think back to that "on and off" cycle that you're stuck in.   It sucked so much....because the end result is always the same....shitty, guilty and fucked up.
I wasn't one to go to AA or believe in meetings much but let me tell ya, they are truly amazing to me now.  I'm almost addicted to them.  In that one hour a day, I have something to look forward to.  I have people to hug.  I have people that believe in me.  ...and with my words.....I'm inspiring them.  Make it your mission to get out of that place you're in so that you can help someone else do the same.  You can do it!  If you can read "The Untethered Soul" by Micheal Singer, please do.... or google him on YouTube.  I'm telling you, this man will help you see that you are not your mind.  You are so much more than that!  Once you find that inner connection with your soul and spirit, you will get what you're looking for.
I believe in you and I know you want this more than anything in the world!   You are worth it!!
I will repost my daily prayer that helped me so much in the beginning on my blog!  I will pray for you to find your recovery and peace with this effin disease!
Hugs~
Jen