I am ecstatic! I'm on that pink cloud that I've heard people talk about and wondered for so long how to get there.
Longest time I've been sober, EVER!! (well besides my years from 0-13)
What can I possibly say in this post?
How did I get to 90 days?
How did I get past the damn cravings and obsession to drink my beer and wine after long days and crazy-ass-hectic days?
How did I find such peace and freedom?
I will begin writing a page on all the things I've done to change in hopes to help someone else find this pink cloud that I've found and learn to stay on that pink cloud. There is a great article at http://alcoholrehab.com/addiction-recovery/pink-cloud/ that describes this pink cloud. The only way to stay here is to continue putting in the work to stay sober. It takes work! Every... Single.... Day!
How I ended this post (the next day)
Good grief! I've been reading articles on "Pink Cloud Syndrome" and how depressing!! People out there are saying it's a delusion of the mind. Seriously? Am I just in a delusional state and not facing the realities in my life? My life is pretty good. I have a great career, kids, home, friends, health, newly sober friends, sisters, my dog. I may be struggling financially, but who isn't? I may be single and lonely at times, but I'm okay with that too? I may have some resentments toward my ex-husband for walking all over me and not paying support, but I'm dealing with that.
I really don't think I'm delusional. I just think I'm enjoying life in such a different way than when I was drinking on a daily basis. I see things differently. I hear things differently. I notice things that I otherwise wouldn't have noticed. I listen more. I am aware. I am conscious.
This "Pink Cloud" is an expression of peace, serenity, love, gratitude, happiness, joy and freedom. I'm high on life! I'm not worried about my future. I'm not worried about my past! Why would I? I'm not in my past. I'm not in my future. I'm present. Now. This moment. Every moment. I'm living my life in love instead of living my life in fear. I love my God. I love me! I spread love to others. How can this be delusional?
I refuse to get off of my pink cloud, at least for today. One day at a time. I know it will take work. Everything takes work. My recovery will take work. ...and I know, deep down, that if I work it....I can't go wrong. Reading. Spirituality. Meditation. Running. Meetings. Reaching out. Praying. All things I have to do. I know that everything I need will be provided to me on a daily basis. My God is watching over me and I'm grateful for all that I receive.
The reality is ...my feet are on the ground. This is my reality. My spirit soars high.
I enjoy every moment. I accept. I am present.
So, today, I celebrate. 90 days. Come celebrate with me.
Congratulations on 90 days! That's amazing. Enjoy being on your pink cloud. Nothing delusional at all, in my opinion, about celebrating success and being happy in your life. :)
ReplyDeleteHey Jen, congrats on your 90 days! It's fantastic! And I know you worked hard to get there. For what it's worth, I don't think feeling great means your delusional! I know that sometimes after quitting drinking there after low spells that come and go, but you have all the tools in place to deal with that sort of thing, and you've been dealing with the lows already as they come. But the good feelings sure are great, and well deserved! I'm really happy for you! xo
ReplyDeleteOMG, OMG, O.M.G!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteCongrats on 90 days Jen!!!! You've worked so hard to get here and guess what?
YOU'RE HERE!!!!
You deserve all the pink clouds you can find. Ride that sucker all the way my friend.
Sherry
Congratulations!!! That is so awesome! What do you think has been different this time? Do you think it's AA?
ReplyDeleteI am 100% sure that AA has been a huge part of this new healthy, sober journey! The connections I feel with some of my new friends in AA are extraordinary! I even have a new "brother"! Now I want to take the time to really work the steps.....
DeleteI don't think I would be sober today if I hadn't went to so many meetings in the past 3 months! I truly look forward to them on a "almost" daily basis!
xxoo
Have you tried AA? I just noticed you're near day 20 on your blog! Woot woot! I have to catch up on reading more of your journey! Hope you're well...xo
DeleteI have been going to AA - although I don't really talk a whole lot to anyone...it just feels kind of awkward. I know this is silly but I am afraid that people will judge me because I am not as "bad" as them. I have however enjoyed the meetings and there is usually something I can take away from them.
Delete