Today, I do. It does get easier. It really does.....When we make the decision to end this crazy cycle of harming ourselves and stick to it, it does get easier.
I think it may have to do with willpower. It may have to do with the fact that I was sick of being tired. It may have to do with the fact that God took my burden away from me..... a miracle I'm sure.
It may have to do with the fact that I have learned to become very aware of my triggers. Consciousness.
Triggers. Something that happens in our lives that we have absolutely no control over.... things that change our energy levels in an instant.....sets us off...... People. Places. Things. Our inner world can start spiralling when one of these things affect the way our energies flow. We could be calm and serene one moment and whammo!.......Someone screws it up for us! We can become pissed off, moody, angry, sad ....in an instant.... A good excuse to pick up a drink? Sure..... We've all done it. Alcohol calms the mind, body and soul, doesn't it? It numbs the pain.... We drink. We don't feel the feelings. We hide....
....until you wake up the next day......and we eventually have to come out. Then, how do we feel? So much worse than the day before plus a hangover.
What I've learned.
When we are ready to "feel" the feelings, be aware of the triggers, let them pass through the body and let them go......only then, can we feel the freedom we are all searching for.
What I've learned.
Each one of us is just a tiny little speck on this Earth ....this Earth that is circulating throughout this humongous Universe. We have no control over the Universe! We have no control over other people. We have no control over most events that occur around us. We have to let go of the urge to control. Surrender. The only way to true freedom.
What I have learned.
I have found a whole new way of seeing my life as it comes to me today. I know my triggers. I feel the feelings. I am aware and fully conscious 99 % of the time in my day. I am living in the present moment. I am letting go of the triggers. They will always be around. I am aware of them. I am feeling the feelings that come with them. I am letting the feelings pass me by......instead of holding on to them. And, I am letting them go...... forever. Breathe.
I am living my life....filled with love......even put forth genuine effort to love the people who are my triggers. I pray for them. I let them live their lives the way they want to..... I am letting go. I believe that the people that cross my path are here to teach me a lesson. I am exactly where I'm supposed to be.
It's working for me. This new sober life. It feels real good. It feels good to be aware. It feels good to be sober. It feels good to be fully alive. It feels good to be present.
Become conscious! You are personality. You were born on a certain day. You will die on a certain day. You are soul. Your soul is immortal. It is content, happy, joyous. Align the personality with the soul....... you will find your purpose and enjoy your life to the fullest. _Gary Zukav
Sober Mommy's Triggers
-can't find the remote control
-fighting children
-my ex-husband
-my parents
-a co-worker
-being broke
-being lonely and single
-loud TV
-my barking dog
-hectic busy days at work
-moody kids
What are your triggers?
Dear SM.
ReplyDeleteHappy Day 129!
Yes, it does get easier. I am so thankful for that. Each day being sober feels better and better.
My triggers are mostly related to going out to dinner, or dinner parties. I won't drink, but get into that romancing the old days a little bit.
xo
Wendy