"Today, I'm going to be nice all day"
I didn't think much of it and just kept on driving, listening to my music, not thinking much of it or not living in the present again.... His statement just flew through the van and didn't even make contact with me....
Anyhow...the day went on as usual with nothing out of the ordinary happening.
We came home, had dinner and went out to "our" basketball game. I'm his coach. The game was crazy....the score went back and forth for the whole game. The kids were great! They worked their butts off and got double shifted often because we were missing a player.
During the last 5 minutes of play, I had to pull my son off. He had been playing during the last 3 shifts and leaving him on would mean that someone else didn't get to play twice in a row. Doing this left me feeling nervous because my other players weren't as "strong" as my son. However, I do believe in fair play and have always told my son that this is the way that I coach. We were down by one basket. My team scored, then there's scored.......and the buzzard rang. We lost.
Now, you have to picture my son....extremely competitive....like his mother, sitting on the bench, in total defeat.
He got up when the buzzard rang, came in for our "Hip Hip Hurray" and shook hands with the other players from the other team.
He went along, chatting with his buds, and smiling. He "talked" to me with kind words, never once raising his voice in upset over his loss.... He seemed.... okay
We got into the van and he said
"Good thing I said I was going to be nice today eh mom".
....and that's when I totally got it! Something deep inside of me went CLICK.......in that moment in time....something bigger than I could ever describe.
When I tucked him in that night, we had a great conversation.....
We talked about how disappointed he was that he lost the game and that I should have played him during the last shift. I asked him how he managed to stay calm and "nice" even though he was feeling upset at the time. He simply said "I'm capable of doing something when I say I'm going to do it".
How amazing was it for me to hear these words from my 10 year old boy. I always believed that he's been an angel sent to me from Heaven.....
What did I learn that day? I must be present when my children are talking to me. I must stop what I'm doing, and just listen. I also learned that my son is a very intelligent and very strong young man. He taught me that if I put my mind to something, I can just .... do it!
Thank you Patrick.
You have a wise soul for a son and I would be honoured to be his mother. What control it takes for a competitive ten year old to keep his cool under those conditions. Wisely, you are listening and learning from this remarkable boy.
ReplyDeleteOh what a beautiful post and what a beautiful son you have. So wise. We can do things if we decide we're just going to get them done...sometimes it takes the wisdom of a child to really understand it.
ReplyDeleteSherry