...on Mindfulness

I honestly can't believe that I'm doing this well in my sobriety so far.  I haven't really had major craving attacks or a lot of stress in my life.  Either that, or maybe I'm just dealing with everyday stressors in different ways.  I'm learning to walk away from a lot of things that I normally would get involved in...and in which would cause me anxieties or stress.  I'm learning to let my negative thoughts or emotions come through me....I feel them...I breathe....and I let them go.  I'm learning that I have no control over the outer world or the people in it.  I can only control me and my reactions to all the BS.

Since my lifestyle changes, I can't help but notice changes in my children.  They are calmer.  We've been communicating a lot, especially on being proactive versus reactive people.  Our motto is " don't judge" and " don't gossip"   It's a great start and I'm feeling more connected to them than ever!  I love it when they come to me for advice on how to deal with the BS instead of reacting to it. I love that my strength and spirit can help them grow.   

When I drank on a daily basis, I didn't pay attention to them as much as I should have.  I wanted them to play on their own.  I wanted them to keep busy. I wanted them to figure out how to solve their problems.  I wanted them to deal with the BS somehow, on their own.  I honestly didn't have the mind frame or tools they needed because I didn't even have them for me to use.....

The greatest thing I've learned about recovery is forgiveness.  I've learned to forgive the people in my past for their mistakes.  I've accepted and understand that they did their best and they only did what they knew and learned.   I hope that my changes now will help my children forgive me...and I hope that the changes now will be so amazing that they won't even remember the past 10  years.  

I still want my children to do these things (be good problem solvers, deal with BS, play, live, be happy)...

 .....the difference is that today, I can give them the tools they need to grow and live more spiritually, calmly and compassionately.

Gosh, I really wasn't gonna go on and on here.  ...  I called this post Mindfulness because on the drive home today from work, this is what I saw....  I was so happy to be present for it....

...and this is what I am able to enjoy...now....as I type.....

my sober buddy