This is what I'm taking out of it....
on Chapter 2...Staying Away From The First Drink
I got a chuckle when I read this tonight. I'll admit that I read the book more than once and tonight as I read Chapter 2, something clicked. First, it was the fact that the last few times I read this part, I most likely wasn't present or mindful of what it was saying.... Second, I got it.
How many times have I quit drinking? How many times have I convinced myself that I could drink in moderation? How many times have I told myself that I could control it if I really wanted to? I can't answer these questions for the simple fact that it's been too many times.
This chapter tells us that many of us get scared when we decide to quit drinking. Planning to never drink again is probably one of the craziest thoughts that us alcoholics can even think of.... It's almost too difficult to even consider.....
How the hell are we supposed to live in this world without any alcohol, forever?? Our lives are surrounded by alcohol. Our lives are filled with anxiety and pressure from others to drink with them. How else are we supposed to deal with the stresses of every day life? This has always troubled me over the last many times I've tried to quit drinking. I get it now....when they say....stay away from that first drink!
Doctors have discovered that it is the first drink which triggers, immediately or some time later, the compulsion to drink more and more until we find ourselves going down the same path that we have been trying to avoid for so long....
I think that if we change the idea of never drinking again, which becomes an obsessive thought in our head... to.... Stay away from that FIRST drink... then things would be so much more manageable! If I don't pick up that first drink....I can't fail.... I won't have to worry about starting the cycle over.... you know the one.... the one that got me drinking maybe one or two..... then drinking only on weekends....then drinking every night, then drinking mornings to cure the hangover..... the no sleep, the disappointed children, the bags under the eyes, the unhealthy body.....that cycle!
The fact is ....after all of my efforts of trying to take alcohol out of my life for good, I now know that I just can't drink in moderation. Once I pick up that first drink....my life begins to spiral out of control again until the whole cycle begins and I get sick and tired of feeling sick and tired.
So, tonight, I've convinced my thoughts and my ego that I'll just avoid that first drink. If someone offers one, I will say no. If I'm stressed, I will find something better to do. I'll pray. I'll meditate. I'll sleep. I'll eat.
....because I am spirit
....I am not my mind....
I love this post. It is a great matra "Don't pick up that first drink." You describe the ensuing scenario perfectly. For me the first drink is usually not much of a drunk, the second and third nights either ... but inevitably there will come a night or a morning when I am forced to realize that I need to start another day one. No more!! Thanks!!
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