...on Recovery @ Day 200

There's something about this number that gets me excited about being sober for this long.  I'm not sure what it is.....  double the 100 Day Challenge maybe..... -first time I've been sober for this long maybe.... -closer to 1 year sober maybe.....  I'm just so grateful to be here, celebrating 200 days of sobriety.

Recovery in the beginning was just a word that meant it's time for me to stop drinking and get healthy again.  As I read blogs and articles, I'm discovering so much more.

I love this definition of recovery.  

...to return to the original self

This brings me back to being a child.  My original self, before I picked up a drink was full of hope, life and love.  She didn't know that alcohol would rob her of so much beauty in the world.  She didn't know that alcohol would make her sick and tired.  She thought it was normal to drink everyday because that's what she saw.

It's kinda hard for me to think about going back to my original self because as a child, I lived in fear, guilt and anxieties.  I was surrounded by a world full of resentment, anger and shame.   I have vague memories of my childhood and I'll tell you, they aren't the best ones.  

But when I look at a baby and think about a newborn child coming into this world, this definition makes so much sense to me.  It's exactly where I need to go.   A baby comes into this world full of love, joy and hope.  They are filled with contentment and the universe loves them.  They know no judgement and they aren't judged.  They have courage and face their fears.   They learn and discover all that surrounds them.  They have no guilt or shame.  They just live.... in the moment, without worrying about what everyone else thinks.  

I am so blessed to have an opportunity to really watch my children today.   I've always watched them and guided them, but today I see them through sober eyes and it's so very different.   I see the love, hope and joy in their lives and it makes me want to go right there... where they are.   My kids live in the moment.   I am learning so much from them.  They are my greatest teachers in this lifetime.  They are teaching me to go back to my original self.