...on Seeing Again

So....I decided to make some changes today.  As you know, I've been riding a roller coaster of sober living for the last month.   I seem to have lost my spirituality and calmness for some reason, and I'm on a mission to getting it back.

I got a taste of it.  I got a taste of living life on a high...a natural sober high.

I woke up this morning with a different attitude.  I decided to be more grateful and even took 10 minutes to sit in stillness.  I didn't meditate or anything.  My mind is way too busy to go there.  But, I did hear my breath.  I felt it go in and out of my body.  I felt my soul lift.  I felt present.  I am spirit really....  How could I forget that?

I had a wonderful day.   I told myself to see the beauty in today and accept whatever happens.  So I did.

I rode on a school bus first thing this morning, to supervise 50 students from Grades 3 to 8 on a field trip.  I really didn't want to go at first and even asked the teacher in charge of the group to find someone else if she could.  She said she wanted me to go because she loved how much spirit I had and how much energy I had.  "The kids need you"....she said.  

So, I went.

I allowed myself to sit on that bus and just Be.   Present.  Content.  Spirit.   As I watched the children laugh and chat with their friends, I truly felt blessed.  Kids are so spiritual and wonderful human beings.  They live in the moment and just do their best.  Most of them anyway.  

The trip went well.  The students had an opportunity to run in either a 1KM, 2KM, or 3KM race.  Kids who never ran before came to the finish line with everything they had.  The cheers from the crowd when the last runner came in, were indescribable.

I teared up several times today.  I was just there.... right where I was supposed to be.  Hugging the child who felt sick after her race.  Cheering on for the runner who wanted to quit and stop.  Telling the child that was nervous that she can do anything she wanted to do.  Giving my apple to the child that had no snacks in his lunch.   Were these some of the reasons that God wanted me to be there?   Definitely!

This is what I saw today....  The sun.  The children.  The spirit.  The love.  The hope.  The joy.  The smiles.  The laughter.  The tears.  The Courage.  It was all there at the exact same time!

And I saw it.....

Sober Mommy