Friday, 16 October 2015

....on Riding the Wave

My life is like a wave.  Sometimes the wave is higher than others.  Sometimes the wave comes crashing down on me.

I met someone at the AA convention during the weekend.   We got chatting about this wave concept.

I told him that I was at a very low low.  I almost felt like I was going through a major depression.  I wanted to drink.  I envisioned me drinking.   I had visions of me drinking and being happy....relaxing and numbing.  I told him that I didn't know how to get my serenity back.  I lost it for some reason and it seemed so far out of reach.

He told me that life is like a wave.....  sometimes the wave is smooth and we can ride it peacefully and calmly.  Sometimes that wave is high and we are high on life and feel like we can conquer the world.  Sometimes that wave comes crashing down on us and life happens.   He reminded me that this is life.  How do I forget this?  How do I get so wrapped up in stuff that I forget that life is just chaotic sometimes?  I forget to accept.  I forget to take time for me.  I forget to set boundaries.  I forget to breath.  He told me that eventually that wave will be smooth again....we just have to wait until it comes....  That smooth, calm wave always comes back.....

The truth is... I sometimes feel like I can't handle that big wave that crashes down on me.  I don't know how to calm the chaos in everyday life sometimes.  I get so caught up in the wave that it feels like I'm drowning in it and can't get out.

I have to remind myself that the wave will pass.   It use to drive me nuts to hear "This too shall pass" but it is such a big truth in my life today.  I know that the chaos of life passes us....and the more I come to realize this, the quicker I will have the ability to stay in control of it when it comes.

I have to take a step back when the big wave comes again.  It will come.  Chaos happens.  Kids fight.  Life is busy.  Alcohol is cunning.  Life happens.  Sometimes we just have to step out of that wave for a few minutes to allow ourselves to breathe through it.

I'm riding a new wave.  It's a nice one.

Jen
Day 294
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12 comments:

  1. Ainsobriety16 October 2015 at 09:50

    Hi Jen
    Me too. Somehow I can remember the wave of things are ok, but when they are hard or chaotic fear sneaks in.
    I guess it takes practice.
    Thanks for sharing that story. It helped me.
    Anne

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    1. Sober Mommy16 October 2015 at 18:41

      Thanks Anne. It does take practice and patience. Sometimes those waves are bigger than others! It's hard to turn fear into love and acceptance. We have to work on that every single day!
      hugs xo

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  2. SoberMomWrites16 October 2015 at 11:55

    Think about what you do when you're really in the ocean and a wave overtakes you. If you fight and try to swim you will tire yourself out and you may even drown.

    But if you hold your breath, relax your body and let go, the way will carry you safely to shore.

    Sherry

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    1. SoberMomWrites16 October 2015 at 11:56

      *wave not way

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    2. Sober Mommy16 October 2015 at 18:42

      I just love this analogy.... It's so true.... relax...let go....breathe.
      Why is it so hard to remember this at times?

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  3. Time and the Bottle16 October 2015 at 12:16

    Waves come and go. We just need to either ride them out or wait them out. But I know how difficult it can be. And I know that alcohol looks so alluring in moments like that. It is difficult to resist. Sometimes I fail to resist. Sometimes I am strong enough to ignore its allure. You are so far ahead of me. Don't do anything that would drag you back. No matter what, in the end, it is not worth it.

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    1. Sober Mommy16 October 2015 at 18:43

      I try to convince myself that it's not worth it every time I want a drink. It is so powerful sometimes.
      hugs

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  4. SoberMummy16 October 2015 at 16:44

    Hi Jen! Check out my post from yesterday - I got hit by a really big wave. This post really helped me - thank you! Other SM x

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    1. Sober Mommy16 October 2015 at 18:45

      Awe! SM.... One of the scariest things in life is happening to you..... I hope and pray that this is just a tiny wave girl..... Grab this one by the balls and don't let go!
      Stay strong. Don't drink.

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    2. Sober Mommy16 October 2015 at 18:45

      hugs...xo

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  5. Untipsyteacher16 October 2015 at 17:30

    Dear Jen,
    It will come and go. Think of it as a tide, back and forth, and instead of big crashes, see life as having an ebb and flow.
    The more I can breathe deeply, the better I feel and the more I can handle things.
    xo
    Wendy

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    1. Sober Mommy16 October 2015 at 18:46

      Thanks Wendy. I think I'm going to take another meditation class. I'm not sure why I forget to take the time to breathe deeply during the day.....
      hugs...xo

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