For the last month or two, I've been praying. I've been trying to let go of my financial burden and I've been asking God to give me a hand somehow. I've legitimately made changes to the budget plan and continue to scramble to survive on a monthly basis to make ends meet. I have a super job ...thank goodness, but I also have a lot of debt and bills and I just can't afford any extras at the end of the month. I'm even tutoring a few kids on the side for some extra cash.
I have always kept $500 emergency fund in my account and always keep that money there, just in case something comes up.
It's gone!
Someone stole the last of my money. Someone drained my account of the last of the money I had and worked so hard for from an ATM in another country. Like, WTF! How does this shit happen? I don't understand how someone could duplicate my card, find out my PIN and drain my account!
And, besides all the other shit going on in my life, kids, work, loneliness, winter is coming blues, I get into these crazy urges to just drink!
I've always believed that everything happens for a reason. There's a lesson to be learned in all that happens to us. I'm having a hard time with this one.
I keep thinking about my sober friend, Sober Mummy, at Mummy Was a Secret Drinker. I'm not sure how someone could be so strong when faced with such diagnosis. I sometimes wonder if I'd be that strong.
Why do I want to drink whenever my heart and body palpitate with stress? I seem to resort to that "escape plan" every time I'm under stress.
It's like a cycle. Stress comes. My body reacts. My heart pounds. I get anxious. I get fearful. I want to drink.
Although, in the moment of stress, all I can think about is a nice big glass of vino, I think I'm learning to "feel" the emotions that comes with everyday living lately. And, even though, I think about resorting to alcohol for and "escape", I don't.
How this happens? I'm still not sure.
I just know that I'm doing it one day at a time. Trying to figure this thing out....
Life.
I've always believed that everything happens for a reason. There's a lesson to be learned in all that happens to us. I'm having a hard time with this one.
I keep thinking about my sober friend, Sober Mummy, at Mummy Was a Secret Drinker. I'm not sure how someone could be so strong when faced with such diagnosis. I sometimes wonder if I'd be that strong.
Why do I want to drink whenever my heart and body palpitate with stress? I seem to resort to that "escape plan" every time I'm under stress.
It's like a cycle. Stress comes. My body reacts. My heart pounds. I get anxious. I get fearful. I want to drink.
Although, in the moment of stress, all I can think about is a nice big glass of vino, I think I'm learning to "feel" the emotions that comes with everyday living lately. And, even though, I think about resorting to alcohol for and "escape", I don't.
How this happens? I'm still not sure.
I just know that I'm doing it one day at a time. Trying to figure this thing out....
Life.
Dear Sober Mommy.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry to hear about the money that was stolen.
You are under a lot of stress right now.
A day at a time is the only way I can deal with life, too.
You are stronger than you think.
Look at how you have coped so far, without drinking.
Hugs from me.
xo
Wendy
Thank you Wendy! I am pretty happy about how far I've come. Your support means a lot to me and helps me more than you know.
DeleteHave a super day!
Jeannette
Hey Sober Mommy! I'm so sorry about your cash. I'm not sure how it works in the US, but here in the UK the bank would definitely refund you. You ARE strong, and staying sober makes you stronger every day. We're finally growing up, my friend. Be proud of yourself - you rock. Xxx
ReplyDelete