During the meeting last night, a couple of members said that resentments are the # 1 killer of us alcoholics. I believe that resentments are the # 1 killer amongst anybody!
I'm no expert on this subject but I'm slowly learning to live and let go..... let go of the stuff that bothers me about others. The fact is... we can't change people.
I am only learning now, at the age of 44 years old, how to let go of some of the bullshit I've been holding on to for years. I'm learning to breathe, feel, let go....surrender. When I feel resentful or angry toward someone, I ask myself "What inside of me is being triggered right now?" I feel it. The resentment. I let it flow through my body.
In the past, I'd let anger and resentments flow through my body...but it stayed there, deep in the pit of my belly....stuck! I drank to forget about it being stuck in my body. The resentment stayed in my body and mind on a daily basis! I knew no other way. I held on to it because I knew that I was right and the other person was wrong and they had to be punished for their wrong-doings. So, the more I resented them, the angrier and miserable I got. The more I drank. Pain. Hurt. Sadness.
In reading "The Untethered Soul" and going to AA meetings, I'm realizing that I must let all these feelings flow right on through my body.....and watch them go......out of my body. I know now that I can ask God to take the burden of the resentments away from me. I pray. I pray for the person that is wrong, that is mean, that is rude, that is abussive. And, it friggen works!!!! It's healing me ....slowly but surely. How can I live in the moment, enjoy each second of this lifetime, if I'm angry or resentful? I don't think I can.
If you believe in a higher power, if you have been sober for a while, if you believe that your higher power has helped you get sober, then you have to believe that your higher power will take away your burden of resentments! Surrender. Forgive. Heal.
I've been preaching the words "Let it go" to my daughter lately. She's 13 and is carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders. I'm trying to teach her that she has to let go of all the bullshit. She has to understand that she has no control over other people. We all have to understand this. So, "Let it Go" I say calmly. She doesn't like it. But, as she watches me deal with life as it comes, without holding on to anger or resentments and she's learning.
Resentments makes our body sick. It's like poison to our body. God doesn't want us to poison our body. This is our vessel and we only have this one, in this lifetime to live in..... peacefully, calmly and spiritually. I truly believe that we have the power to heal our body once we heal our minds.
Getting sober is so much more than just not drinking anymore. It's a whole new world....a whole new way of seeing life as it comes to us.
What a lovely lesson you're giving your children. If she can learn to let go at this tender age, she'll be able to handle everything.
ReplyDeleteSherry