Thursday 15 January 2015

...on Being Ready

If you haven't had an opportunity to hear about the following book, you are missing on some good healing advice on recovery.

http://melodybeattie.com/meditation-guides/

I have to credit this book for guiding me in my decision to quit drinking.  I have been reading it for a couple of months...on and off now and the messages it brings us are extremely powerful....inspiring.....motivating.  

After drinking over the holidays and feeling like shit, I decided to make reading this book a part of my morning routine.  I never really had "me time" routines, and mornings are great, especially because the kids sleep in.....  I read somewhere that to break old habits, you need to create new ones.  My new habits have definitely helped in my recovery so far.  I not only read a daily meditation every morning, I've been running 4-5 times a week.  This is helping my body release endorphins, giving me more energy and helping me stay focused on my goals.  Mornings give me time to be calm, be present in my own mind, enjoy my run, enjoy my coffee and read.  I also get a sense of gratefulness for all the beautiful things I am blessed with.

This is what I read, the morning of December 27th.....the day I took my last drink.

I know you're tired.  I know you feel overwhelmed.  You may feel as though this crisis, this problem, this hard time will last forever.  
It won't.  You are almost through.
You don't just think it has been hard; it has been hard.  You have been tested, tried, and retested on what you have learned.
You never dreamt things would happen this way, did you?  But they did.  Now you are learning the secret- they were meant to happen this way, and this way is good, better than what you expected.
You didn't believe it would take this long, either - did you?  But it did.  You have learned patience.  You have been led.  Many were the moments when you thought you were forgotten, when you were convinced you had been abandoned.  Now you know you have been guided.
Now things are coming into place.  You are almost at the end of this phase, this difficult portion of the journey.  The lesson is almost complete.  You know - the lesson you fought, resisted, and insisted you could not learn.  Yes, that one.  You have almost mastered it.
You have been changed from the inside out.  You have been moved to a different level, a higher level, a better level. 
You have been climbing a mountain.  It has not been easy, but mountain climbing is never easy. Now you are near the top.  A moment longer, and the victory is yours.  Steady your shoulders.  Breathe deeply.  Move forward in confidence and peace.  The time is coming to relish and enjoy all which you have fought for.  That time is drawing near, finally.

There are a couple more paragraphs and a reflection at the end of this meditation.  Isn't it amazing to read something like this ....especially if you are someone who has struggled for so long, trying to fight this disease, once and for all.  This was a spiritual awakening for me.  It told me that even though I've been trying to "control" my drinking or tried to quit so many times, I wasn't really ready or had the mind frame to follow through.  My mind and soul weren't ready.  No wonder I couldn't stick to being sober!   

I took into consideration that this meditation is probably for someone who has been sober for a long time, fighting for sobriety.  But it also reminded me of all the obstacles I've overcome in my life.  It seemed like this was a calling for me...like it's my mission to release myself from alcohol and all the grief it brought into my life......like God lifted the burden for me...the burden of the demon that kept lurking it's way into my body.

....when you were convinced you had been abandoned.  Now you know you have been guided.  This sentence helped me realize that I have been guided to this present day....to where I am today ...all for a reason.  I feel stronger than ever!  I feel healthier than ever.  I feel rested.  Present.  Calm.  

It's time for me to let God guide me on this journey.....and help spread the message that sobriety is an amazing gift.

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1 comment:

  1. This is beautiful. I love Melodie. You're doing so well.

    Sherry

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