Sometimes, I wonder where the hell I've been all my life. Things seem so friggen simple.
I've always been the type of person to please others. I love to talk, to entertain and to make people laugh every chance I get. I've always felt that if others weren't pleased with me.... I was at fault. I've always taken blame and responsibility for other peoples' discomfort or pain. I've never been able to confront people if something bothered me or if I wanted to get something off my chest. I've learned to just keep my mouth shut....because in reality, it saved a lot of grief and worry.
What have I been so afraid of? Why can't I just tell people what I want to say? Why do I avoid situations? Why do I say sure...when I really want to say no?
F E A R....
It's the only answer I can come up with....and I know it's a good one!
I'm always and always have been so friggen scared to piss people off. I hate it when people are mad at me so I avoid all sticky situations ....or I go even as far as to say yes to things I don't really want to do. I know and understand the fact that not everybody will like me. And, I'm okay with that. But, it really makes me uncomfortable to know that someone is upset with something I've said or done....even if it was an accident.
Now, that I'm sober, it's harder to deal with these feelings. I've had a couple of incidents in the last two weeks where I did speak my mind and let me tell you.....having a drink to calm my body down did cross my mind a couple of times. Thank goodness I have a friend at work that has been reading about the same stuff I'm reading. She kept me grounded and reminded me of all the things we've been working on....
Here's what I've learned:
1. There are more important things to life than being worried about other peoples' feelings.
2. I have to tell people how I feel about certain situations and face my fears.
3. I am not in control of other peoples' reactions or behaviours.
4. If someone is mad at me....it's their problem and they will have to figure out what that problem is within their own body and soul.
5. I have a right to voice my opinions and thoughts.
See. Simple.
Deal with the feelings. Be aware of them. Let them pass through you. Remember who you are. Breathe.
Oh yeah! If you're an Oprah lover, (depending on where you live)....her Super Soul Sunday show is on OWNetwork tomorrow morning at 7 am. She is speaking with the author of the book "The Untethered Soul" ...Michael Singer. OMG !! I can't wait to watch this before I go to work. I've been reading the book...only on Chapter 3 but very powerful messages so far.....Here's an exert of the show....you can find more on YouTube!
It IS simple...but so hard to execute! We just have to keep trying. I'm constantly reminding myself that it's none of my business what other people think of me. The only thing that matters is what I think of me.
ReplyDeleteWe get the OWNetwork. I think I'll try and find it so I can record it. Thanks for the heads up!
Sherry